Nowhere is Now Here

We used to be something
I had hope that this thing that we once were would last
That you would be my forever
That your love would be enough
That your heart would be home
But we are nowhere

I would sacrifice everything I had for you
Give up the very last that I had if I needed to
Go to the end and back for you
Sleep in your arms even when it was uncomfortable
Forcing myself to make a home out of you
But we are nowhere

I set the table for you without requirements
Put all I had on every plate just to make sure you ate
And you did... You ate it well
Put all I had on every plate to make sure that you never wanted for anything
And you did... I brought you four warriors, we went to war with one

But there were only two still standing when I checked two days later

You hadn't touched me in 48 hours
You were with somebody else, placing your baggage inside of a new home

Going to war on a battlefield that didn't belong to us
I had hope that this body would forever be home to all that I had unpacked of you
But we are nowhere


I have stitched these lips shut forcing questions to be silenced because I have offered you all I had without revealing any type of requirements
I opened my home to you
Gave you space to heal outside of the four walls you once knew
I sat and let you 

Cry

Complain


Eat


Sleep


Cum

Think
of
her


Text
her


Dream
of
her


Smell
like
her


Text
her


Eat
and
digest

at
the
center
of
my
being


Lay
under
me


Build
false
realities

...But we are nowhere

We are nowhere which means we are now here
In this very moment
Distant
You in your old home
Me in mine
Wondering how could I have wasted all this time
Investing into something that was never really mine
Wasting my in the meantime
As you were never home for me.
You were never a final destination.
You were a form of direction in the sense of your heart being a temporary apartment stay.

We make what we can out of something small.
We decorate something so ugly to be beautiful
We work hard to obtain better knowing that we've settled for less
We know that somewhere in this world a home, in the form of a heart, has our name on it

And that is why...
I am here.
You are there.
And all this means...
Is we are nowhere.

~Brittany K.W.
🌹

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