The Faults of Coping 04/07/15

I thought coping meant to cover up
To smile even when tears make home of your cheeks
To move on even when your heart is with the one you left or the one that left you
To make lovers out of people who didn't know your worst fears

I knew I had it wrong when I cried myself to sleep while in your arms because they didn't feel as homely as Richard's. 
For worse...
They didn't feel like home at all


I knew I had it all wrong the day you lied in my bed and I cried myself to sleep 
And no matter how close you were 
I've never felt so far from you

My biggest mistake was forcing my broken pieces into your palms knowing you weren't the one
But I just wanted your arms to feel like home 
It's been four years too long 
Four years of lying to myself that fixing occurs when you lie in bed with strangers 
The ones who come off as soul mates.


I have daddy issues.